It's great that the Dodgers won today. But there are other things on my mind.

Yep. I'm really happy about their win. Even though I know they are most likely not going to make it to the postseason, but that's okay. It's not like I'm going to stop watching the Dodgers play because their season is over. I'm much more of a fan than that.

But that's not what this post is mainly about. If you want to skip the next part, feel free. Because it's just going to be me whining and stuff...

Something happened to me today that really, really just made me want to give up. I just...I don't know what to do about it. It's like, why me? Why did it have to be me. I just know not to trust anyone with anything anymore. I really really hate myself right now. I just want to forget about it. But it's burned into my memory. It could have just effected me a lot more since it's after 3am and I'm just tired. I wish I could sleep it off and be happy the next morning. But damn. I got really torn apart just now and...I can't even explain the way it feels in proper words.

I'm not going to sit here and bore you with what happened. A typical sob story and blah blah blah. But I just really needed to get it out somewhere. So yeah. Here comes depression I guess. I'll get over it eventually I hope.

Dodgers lose it in the 9th. Again.

Because, James Loney, our bullpen is terrible.

DODGERS WON?

What. How is this possible? Did this really happen? Or am I just dreaming? If I am dreaming, I hope I dream of this forever. I know it's just one win and the Padres lost today and there's no reason to be overly excited about it, but, you know, it doesn't feel too bad for once and I can actually smile today.

I honestly can't say much about the game since I only got to watch a little bit of it. Maybe from now on I should only watch bits and pieces if they are winning. Maybe me watching the games are bad luck or something. Hahaha...I hope not. Because it's hard for me to not watch the games even when they are struggling really badly.

Oh, I know what I can talk about. Pitching. Ted Lilly. He is 3-0 with the Dodgers. I am really starting to like this guy. He is awesome. I heard a few pitchers came up after him so I'm not all too sure how that all went, but with Kuo as the closer I am happy once again. Broxton needs a freaking rest. A long, long, long, long, long, long, long rest. His pitches are too slow. Is something wrong with his arm? What happened to his 100 mph fastball anyway?

Either way, Broxton can't screw over games for us anymore. Well, at least, for now. I wish Joe Torre would have woken up and done this sooner though. It could have cost us a lot less games.

Well, that is all for that. I will now share a personal story about what happened today because it's still kind of bothering me and I don't know. It might just be venting so forgive me in advance if I sound unintelligent or like I'm not making sense or something.

So I was going to go to a minor league game today to see the Jethawks (Astros affiliates) vs the 66ers (Dodgers affiliates) because Clear Channel Stadium is really close to where I live and I figured it would be cool to see some affiliates of the Dodgers play. I had gone there to see the Jethawks play um...Rawhide or something (D-backs affiliates) and it was really empty. So, since I just felt like going and seeing a game today, I figured I could just go and get a seat no problem without having to buy my ticket in advance.

Oh, boy, was I wrong.

The line of cars was so long and the line of people at the ticket booth went across the parking lot. I think Clear Channel Stadium was packed out tonight. Anyway, when I saw all that I just turned around and said forget it. I guess since Dodgers affiliates were playing they got a wayyy bigger crowd than to see the dinky D-backs affiliates play. Or maybe there was a promotional thing going on. Who knows? The point is that I didn't get to go to my freaking Single-A game today and I am quite unhappy about it still. But this wasn't the worst part.

I decided to go out to dinner with my family since I couldn't go see the game and so we were sitting there and my dad and I are talking baseball as usual. I mean, sports are probably the only interest that my dad and I share. Well, my sister comes out and says, "Don't you guys ever talk about anything other than baseball? There's a lot more to life you know." And...I don't know. That seriously sent me into a silent rage. I just stopped talking altogether. I couldn't open my mouth otherwise I would have just blurted out something nasty and rude and unlike my sister, I am considerate of others.

Maybe it seems petty of me, but I just couldn't believe she said that. My dad and I rarely talk. The only time we ever do talk or get along is when the game is on. And she basically just shit all over it. I mean, I can't help it that I don't give a crap about what she's talking about that I have to start up a conversation with my dad that I can actually relate to. She was talking about...I don't even know. Sea World or something or about her husband like every other dumb lovestruck girl. Basically, stuff I don't care about, you know?

Oh well. I just needed to vent about that. I feel a little better and from now on I'm just going to sit there and talk about baseball whenever she is around. I don't even care.

What REALLY made Broxton suck.

Young Phillies fan hexes Broxton

Okay, you have to admit...that kid is a little bit funny.

Broxton sucking, not so much.

DILEMMA LOLZ

So there is this thing on MLB.com where you can pick from a gajillion different photos of different baseball players and get it printed as a POSTER. Awesome stuff.

Well, I am having trouble choosing between two players now because well...I am just that indecisive. And in the end I will probably just end up not getting anything. But you never know.
Anyway, I originally started out with like twelve different players I wanted on my wall, but eventually narrowed it down to two.

• Andre Ethier
• Russell Martin

Why one of these dudes? Well, I will tell you. Andre has always been one of my favorite players and last year he exceeded my expectations. Wish I could say the same for this year but um...well, that's a different story. However, if things go wrong in the Frank McCourt divorce case, not only Andre, but a bunch of great players might end up on free agency. :/


As for Russell, ever since he joined the Dodgers, he was one of my favorites as well. He, unfortunately, was just injured about a week and a half ago. Ended his season. If the rumors are true and this ends up being his last season with L.A., then I want something to remember him by. I want to remember his good years when he first came up from the minors and blew us all away.

Before I start reminiscing too much about the past (again), I'll get on with it. This is a tough choice. Perhaps I will buy a poster of one and an 8x10 of the other? It's just so expensive so...yeah. SIGH. Well, we'll see if I ever make up my mind, but I would kill to have one of these.

I'm gonna dwell on the past for a while.

2009 was a good year for the Dodgers. Everything seemed to be going great. They had amazing players who could hit really well, outstanding pitching which actually included their bullpen, and everything seemed a-okay. Los Angeles eventually made it to the postseason, sweeping the Cardinals. Remember how they came from behind to win one of the games as well? Everything seemed dandy. And then we went up against the Phillies, the same guys who beat us in the 2008 postseason and lost.

You know, despite not advancing beyond that point, there was still quite a sense of accomplishment there. Was there not? Being NL West Champs two years in a row was great. Making it to the World Series and winning it would have been much better, but I'm not complaining. The Dodgers proved that they were a team that could fight and work hard and win. They came at it all with heart and dedication, and in the end, that gave me, as a fan, a bit of satisfaction. Even though they didn't make it to the World Series, I still felt confident that my team had what it took to get far. They would only need to reach a bit further next time.

And at the beginning of this 2010 season, things seemed to be going...well, alright. Dodgers weren't playing as well as the last year and I think it was ultimately because of pitching. Offense was wonderful though. I mean, Andre Ethier with two walk-off grand slams? How often do you see that? Then Andre got hurt, and Manny got hurt, and Raffy was still out, and everyone was getting injured almost to the point where we were as bad as the Red Sox who had nearly all their starters on the DL and the bench. And then when those hurt players came back from the disabled list they struggled. A lot. Ethier was barely hitting. Kemp suddenly seemed to begin to bail on every pitch to him, resulting in multiple strikeouts. Virtually all of our big, ace hitters weren't doing well.

If it wasn't one thing, it was the other. If it wasn't starting pitching, it was offense. If it wasn't offense, it was starting pitching. If it wasn't offense or starting pitching, it was the bull pen. And this continues. And continues and continues and continues. Why? Because we apparently don't know how to learn from our mistakes. Maybe it's a human thing. Or maybe it's just a Joe Torre thing. Who really knows anymore?

All I know is that, this season seems to pretty much be over for L.A. It's...honestly quite devastating seeing players that were doing so well last year and the year before suddenly struggle so bad and for so long.

Well. This year just doesn't seem to be our year. Oh well. Maybe next year. I just hope to see the Dodgers win a World Series in my lifetime. That's my dream.

So much rage!

 (Photo courtesy of ennailuj on Flickr)

It's tough enough to have to watch the Dodgers struggling this season. The fact that I have to sit here and watch the team destroy themselves as well as Torre's managing skills tearing them down, really really frustrates me. During the whole beginning of the final game of the series against the Phillies, I was happy. I was cheering so loudly and smiling and jumping up and down for my team because Kershaw was doing a phenomenal job and offense was stellar tonight. We had a 9-2 lead in the top of the eighth inning. Then, the bottom of the eighth is where the heartbreak began.

The Dodgers bull pen came out and proved that even a seven-run lead means nothing (besides Hong-Chih Kuo and even George Sherrill). Joe Torre let them fall too. He let Belisario pitch and let guys get on base and score runs, and yet he still let him pitch. What kind of managing is that? It's becoming clearer and clearer to me that Joe Torre honestly couldn't care less about this team and it's fate. Maybe he wants to drag them down.

Broxton shouldn't be let out anywhere near the Phillies. Ever. He couldn't even get an out. He kept pitching and pitching until it was over. Until the Phillies scored enough runs to win 10-9. And Joe Torre just let him. What kind of manager does that? What kind of manager let's a pitcher embarrass himself out there like that? What kind of manager let's his entire team become embarrassed to be on the same team as their closer? A terrible one.

I really want to write to the Dodgers organization and express my concern. Torre can't seem to figure out what the hell he's doing. I doubt he'd listen to a faceless fan through a letter, but the guy needs to wake up and smell the coffee. If I were manager of the team, anytime I even dared to put Broxton in, I would have someone up in the bullpen the moment he touches that mound. Let's up a few hits without any outs, then I'd get someone else in there. Not just sit there like a deer in the headlights and let whatever happens to happen.

It was like a freaking repeat of watching them play the Yankees. I can't even believe it. It feels like I'm stuck in a loop. We're watching this team just repeat history. They're making the same mistakes over and over and I'm just wondering...IS THERE ANYONE IN THE DAMN ORGANIZATION THAT CARES AS MUCH AS I DO?

Somehow I doubt it. It's sad that this deserving team's fate is placed in the hands of the grimy paws of desperate money-milkers. Screw you, Frank McCourt. Screw you, Joe Torre. Why don't you quit being selfish and hand off the Dodgers to someone who can actually do something for the team other than drag them down?

P.S. Happy Friday the 13th. Knowing the Dodgers, this supposedly unlucky holiday will actually give us luck.